Hello again, it's Rpg Soul. I've decided to format my reviews to doing a good game then bad then good again to maintain my sanity after ranting about a bad game like Tales of Xillia. After the nostalgia soul series where I reviewed Vanguard Bandits in a relatively good light, I'll be reviewing Final Fantasy 13...Okay, as a fan of Jrpgs and Rpgs in general I was very excited for the first Final Fantasy to hit the ps3 and xbox360...it is the worst Final Fantasy game I have ever played. And I played Final Fantasy Legends! Let's dive into it then...
Plot: I don't know what the fuck was going on in the plot. It starts with the main character Lightning trying to save her sister Serah from turning into a crystal...because she was a l'cie...*googles the plot for a reminder because what the fuck?* okay so she was picked by a fal'Cie for some mission and gets turned because...Oh god this is so hard. Anyway she meets a buncha people I think...to save her sister.
Opinion: What the fuck! the plot in FF13 makes Final Fantasy Tactic's political subplots feel like a Nancy Drew novel. I kinda just played it for the sake of hype and could not make heads or tail of the story. It was a clusterfuck to me. 0/5 Soul
Setting: The game is set in a modern sci-fi world and I have to admit it looks absolutely beautiful! Every single area looks so well done and polished. (it's a shame you can't explore it fully but more on that later) And at the time of its release, nothing could compare. 5/5 Soul
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| From Left: Sazch, Vanille (top) Hope (bottom...lol) Lightning, Snow, Serah and Fang. |
Characters: Ho boy, this is where the fun starts. The characters are horrible and badly written! Some have questionable design as well. I'll be giving my opinion on each character like I did for Xillia...for bitching purposes.
Sazch: Sazch would have been an amazing character had it not been for his questionably racist character design and certain character traits. They've shown that they can make amazingly badass black characters (eg Barret) so I have no idea how this happened. He has this amazing scene with Vanille half way through that made him my favorite character in the series...then again he didn't have much competition. He fights with guns and has a chocobo living in his hair...because...not even gonna go there.
Vanille: Vanille is the narrator of the entire story and considering I didn't understand the story, not a very good one. She's bubbly and outgoing and I like her character design, people don't like her very much but I do. She and Sazch are the only two I am able to tolerate. She fights with a fugly acme-ish giant slingshot...yea...
Hope: I 'hope' you've picked up from my previous reviews that I don't like a lot of the child characters in Jrpgs. It's hard to pull off and most of the time they can come off annoying and unlikeable...Hope is the living personification of this. It's not to say I don't like child characters, MOMO from Xenosaga is one of my all time favorite characters but Hope does it so wrong. He's whiny and annoying and while he does go through some character development, the damage has been done.
Serah: Hardly in this game except for some over romanticized flashbacks. Not going to bother. Next.
Fang: Vanille cousin and slash lover, very protective over Vanille. Honestly I don't remember her very much so I'm going to move on to...
Snow:...The worst character in the game. My god who thought it would be a good idea to make Snow the way he was. Headstrong with almost no redeemable qualities. He's also very ignorant and a little too happy-go lucky for someone who lost his fiancé in such an unfair way. Spends half the game seperated from the group because he runs into things stupidly.
Lightning: One word to describe Lightning...Boring! They were trying to make a female version of Cloud and they weren't subtle about it. Well, they failed. She was paper thin as a character and sooooooo Boring! As cool as Cloud from Final Fantasy 7 was, he had interesting arcs and humanizing moments. Remember when Cloud cross dressed to enter a brothel? Good times...
2/5 Soul
Gameplay: Wow okay this is where shit really hits the fan. Gameplay is not the appropriate word for what I'm about to review, it's more like things you do in between cutscenes. If the game was any more linear, you'd have to put train tracks on it.
Gone are the days of exploration and adventure, in this game you're only allowed to move forward through instances. You want to go shopping or explore a town and talk to NPCs? sorry don't have that. Where are the iconic inns to recover HP? Oh nevermind, you recover after every battle. What the fuck? How did Final Fantasy become this pile of horse dung?
The battles don't fair well either. There is no tactic to them anymore, you have no need for item management when each monster drops 100x potions. It's just pretty lights and graphics. Oh but what about the iconic Final Fantasy summon beasts? Oh they turn into vehicles now that you can't ride because there is no need in a game full of corridors? Fuck you.
0/5 Soul
Overall: Fuck this shit of a 'video game' and an even sadder excuse for a flagship Final Fantasy game. Outside of the jaw dropping visuals, this game has no Soul! It was made on no wits and all hype. Fuck this game, it has 1/5 Soul. There was no heart put into this game, no passion and certainly no soul. Why make a 'game' at all Square Enix? Just make another Final Fantasy CGI movie.
Keep up with me as I review Atelier Rorona: The Alchemist of Arland next!
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