Sad Soul Review (Final Fantasy 13 Review)

Hello again, it's Rpg Soul. I've decided to format my reviews to doing a good game then bad then good again to maintain my sanity after ranting about a bad game like Tales of Xillia. After the nostalgia soul series where I reviewed Vanguard Bandits in a relatively good light, I'll be reviewing Final Fantasy 13...Okay, as a fan of Jrpgs and Rpgs in general I was very excited for the first Final Fantasy to hit the ps3 and xbox360...it is the worst Final Fantasy game I have ever played. And I played Final Fantasy Legends! Let's dive into it then...

Plot: I don't know what the fuck was going on in the plot. It starts with the main character Lightning trying to save her sister Serah from turning into a crystal...because she was a l'cie...*googles the plot for a reminder because what the fuck?* okay so she was picked by a fal'Cie for some mission and gets turned because...Oh god this is so hard. Anyway she meets a buncha people I think...to save her sister.

Opinion: What the fuck! the plot in FF13 makes Final Fantasy Tactic's political subplots feel like a Nancy Drew novel. I kinda just played it for the sake of hype and could not make heads or tail of the story. It was a clusterfuck to me. 0/5 Soul



Setting: The game is set in a modern sci-fi world and I have to admit it looks absolutely beautiful! Every single area looks so well done and polished. (it's a shame you can't explore it fully but more on that later) And at the time of its release, nothing could compare. 5/5 Soul

From Left: Sazch, Vanille (top) Hope (bottom...lol) Lightning, Snow, Serah and Fang.

Characters: Ho boy, this is where the fun starts. The characters are horrible and badly written! Some have questionable design as well. I'll be giving my opinion on each character like I did for Xillia...for bitching purposes.

Sazch: Sazch would have been an amazing character had it not been for his questionably racist character design and certain character traits. They've shown that they can make amazingly badass black characters (eg Barret) so I have no idea how this happened. He has this amazing scene with Vanille half way through that made him my favorite character in the series...then again he didn't have much competition. He fights with guns and has a chocobo living in his hair...because...not even gonna go there.

Vanille: Vanille is the narrator of the entire story and considering I didn't understand the story, not a very good one. She's bubbly and outgoing and I like her character design, people don't like her very much but I do. She and Sazch are the only two I am able to tolerate. She fights with a fugly acme-ish giant slingshot...yea...

Hope: I 'hope' you've picked up from my previous reviews that I don't like a lot of the child characters in Jrpgs. It's hard to pull off and most of the time they can come off annoying and unlikeable...Hope is the living personification of this. It's not to say I don't like child characters, MOMO from Xenosaga is one of my all time favorite characters but Hope does it so wrong. He's whiny and annoying and while he does go through some character development, the damage has been done.

Serah: Hardly in this game except for some over romanticized flashbacks. Not going to bother. Next.

Fang: Vanille cousin and slash lover, very protective over Vanille. Honestly I don't remember her very much so I'm going to move on to...

Snow:...The worst character in the game. My god who thought it would be a good idea to make Snow the way he was. Headstrong with almost no redeemable qualities. He's also very ignorant and a little too happy-go lucky for someone who lost his fiancé in such an unfair way. Spends half the game seperated from the group because he runs into things stupidly. 

Lightning: One word to describe Lightning...Boring! They were trying to make a female version of Cloud and they weren't subtle about it. Well, they failed. She was paper thin as a character and sooooooo Boring! As cool as Cloud from Final Fantasy 7 was, he had interesting arcs and humanizing moments. Remember when Cloud cross dressed to enter a brothel? Good times...

2/5 Soul




Gameplay: Wow okay this is where shit really hits the fan. Gameplay is not the appropriate word for what I'm about to review, it's more like things you do in between cutscenes. If the game was any more linear, you'd have to put train tracks on it. 

Gone are the days of exploration and adventure, in this game you're only allowed to move forward through instances. You want to go shopping or explore a town and talk to NPCs? sorry don't have that. Where are the iconic inns to recover HP? Oh nevermind, you recover after every battle. What the fuck? How did Final Fantasy become this pile of horse dung?

The battles don't fair well either. There is no tactic to them anymore, you have no need for item management when each monster drops 100x potions. It's just pretty lights and graphics. Oh but what about the iconic Final Fantasy summon beasts? Oh they turn into vehicles now that you can't ride because there is no need in a game full of corridors? Fuck you.

0/5 Soul


Overall: Fuck this shit of a 'video game' and an even sadder excuse for a flagship Final Fantasy game. Outside of the jaw dropping visuals, this game has no Soul! It was made on no wits and all hype. Fuck this game, it has 1/5 Soul. There was no heart put into this game, no passion and certainly no soul. Why make a 'game' at all Square Enix? Just make another Final Fantasy CGI movie.


Keep up with me as I review Atelier Rorona: The Alchemist of Arland next!

A not so Soulful Tale! (Tales of Xillia Review)

Alright! Let's do tales of Xillia. Now if you've read my last post, I think you'd already know the general distaste I have for Xillia. I started playing it immediately after Tales of Graces f (which I completely adore!) and had high hopes for it because of the reviews and the aesthetics. Of course everything stated in this post is my own opinion and I'm well aware that a huge chunk of Tales fans love this game. So without further ado, let's rip into this one.

(Disclaimer: I only played Milla's version of the game as after my 1st play through, I had such a bad taste in my mouth I couldn't play through the game again with Jude)

Plot (spoiler free): The game starts with the player (you!) getting to pick between Jude, or the first ever female main character of the Tales series, Milla. The game starts with Milla (a God) trying to break into a high tech facility with the staple summons of the Tales series, Efreet, Undine, Sylph and Gnome. She comes across the worst character ever created, Jude and for no reason other than 'Plot?' he joins her. They try to destroy a weapon created by an evil king to capture spirits to use their energy as pawns of war (yawn) only to have her 4 spirits stolen from her. Without said spirits, she becomes a normal human being and goes on a quest with Jude (why?) to save them and the world. Also they meet a buncha dull paper thin characters I guess.

Opinion: Okay so the plot is very typical Tales. As usual there was a checklist and they ticked every box for this one. I couldn't shake the feeling of, oh it's just another Tales game with this one. I won't go too deep but like the others, there are twist and turns I just wished I was more invested in the characters to care. While not the worst aspect of the game, it did leave a lot to be desired. 3/5 Soul.

Setting: Alright, I have to admit the setting for Tales of Xillia is good. It's a fantasy setting as usual with Tales but it's mixed in with massive urban cities and areas with technological prowesses. Which makes sense because there's a constant war going on and like in the real world, a lot of money goes into building better machines and weapons. Some areas like the 'dungeons' and the fields end up looking the same though. It felt like a chore having to walk through the same 3 areas (I don't know why but they got rid of the constant puzzle filled dungeons that is a staple to Tales for an obligatory 3 fields/maps and done areas) to get to the next town and I feel it bogged the game down. 2/5 Soul.

From the left, Alvin, Rowen, Jude, Milla, Elize and Leia.

Character(s): Seeing as how this game has been out for a while and I want to bitch and moan. I will be talking about all the characters. They are all Tales/ manga anime archetypes and go no further outside of their designated stereotype (warning: possible spoilers)

Alvin: Probably the only character I liked but was bogged down by shotty/lazy writing that ruined any likability he had as a character.He was cool and he fights with a sword and gun but he betrays the cast like 3 times? by the third I was over him and everything about him. Next. 

Rowen: The voice of reason for the cast ( cos hes old I guess) an ex-militant, he sees the error of his ways and the war and changes to become a paper thin old wise sensei character. He used throwing knifes as a weapon and was the primary mage of the team.

Elize: Omg Elize...okay so she's the designated Loli and dear god was she boring. Normally the youngest character in a Tales game is the one you build the most attachment to (e.g Sophie from Graces and Karol from Vesperia) but not here. Her voice actor was not good and neither was the writing for her character. She was the secondary healer. Also she had a talking doll or whatever and it was super annoying and participated in skits.

Leia: Leia was a sad case of missed opportunity, she had the most character development only for it to amount to nothing in the end. Her stereotype was the god awful childhood friend and boy, do I hate that stereotype! Of course she would be madly in love with her childhood friend, Jude. And outside of a scene where they TELL us they had fun that one time during a birhday party a whole decade ago, Jude treats her very badly which makes me wonder why are they still friends. She was the primary healer of the group which also angered me. Jude is a doctor to be, while she was an inn keeper's daughter who worked at a clinic and mentions many times about her martial art prowess!

Milla: The first ever female main character of a Tales series, she gives off a 'Lightning from Final Fantasy 13' vibe. She had no personality outside of one or two predetermined traits, one of which was being hungry all the time (yawn). Her stereotype was the childlike innocence of never experiencing the outside world and it's as boring as it sounds. She was a God who had to live as a human, where did this go wrong? She fought with a sword but instead of inheriting the swordman's skills from the previous games, she wound up with Pascal from Graces' short range magic....why...

Jude: And we made it to the shit of the shits, Jude. My god where do I start with him. He joins the adventure without a single motivation outside of his love at first sight with Milla and has 0 character development throughout. He's a total wuss and needs to be slapped in his Milla obsessed face. His stereotype is the puppy you can't get rid of. His character is the most shallow of the cast and this is including Elize, it has no depth outside of 'Must Love Milla!!' I might've been able to enjoy this game more had this character not existed. Why was he created? You can have a solo female main character Bandai Namco!

1/5 Soul

Gameplay: In the previous post I had a battle section instead of gameplay, but I'll be using gameplay going forwardto describe and rate the general way the game plays.

Okay so the battle system while not the worst, is a far cry from Tales of Graces f which I considered the funnest system until Zestiria. Xillia is clunky and filled with frame rate issues. You wanna do a cool finishing move? here's a buncha lag. Also back to the clunky comment, in Graces I was hitting 100+ hit combos towards the end of the game while in Xillia I'd maybe do 20 if I'm lucky before it breaks. Maybe I sucked at the combat but that just proves the point I'm trying to make, it's not fun.

This game is not the first to not feature an open world, instead it's list based and that's fine. I liked Graces despite not having an open world but where it fails is they've mostly gotten rid of the multi level dungeons in favor of just having you walk from one place to another in maps filled with monsters. And they ALWAYS come in 3s, everytime you want to get to point A to point B, you always know to expect the same map reused 3 times and it destroys the immersion. Also wheres my cute flying ship??!!

Ba'Ul From Tales of Vesperia

0/5 Soul

Overall: I was very disappointed in Tales of Xillia and if not for my disdain for the game, I would've forgotten every single part of it. The plot was nothing new, the characters were horrible (and forgettable or in Jude's case, unforgettably bad) and the gameplay was not fun. Overall I give it 1/5 Soul. The only redeemable thing about it is the graphics which the ps3 couldn't handle anyway.

Stay in touch as we delve into my 1st nostalgic review with Vanguard Bandits! (1998)